I am a huge fan of Travis Bradberry and his book, Emotional Intelligence Habits. Recently, one of his articles inspired me to put a fundraising spin on some of his insights. So here are six things we at BrightDot think fundraisers should stop doing to grow and make a real impact.
Sometimes, quitting is good. Leaving behind negative thoughts, poor habits, and limiting behaviors can be life changing. Meg Foley, a performance psychologist on the BrightDot team, always says, “Quitting the right things gives space to grow the right habits.” Inspired by that, here are some key things fundraisers should leave behind.
1 Quit Staying in Your Comfort Zone
There’s a world of potential beyond your comfort zone, waiting for you to explore and grow. Growth is rarely comfortable, but it’s where the real transformation happens.
Many nonprofit fundraisers come from modest backgrounds. Today, philanthropy is shifting—the wealthy are getting wealthier, and they are the ones whom fundraisers will be engaging with more often. For many fundraisers, this means stepping into unfamiliar circles. Lacking confidence in these situations is understandable, but it’s a barrier you must work to overcome. As Bradberry says, “Faking confidence just doesn’t produce.” Instead, invest in developing social intelligence—take an etiquette class, study high-end magazines for common cultural cues, or seek a mentor who understands the philanthropic landscape. Growth starts when you let go of your fears of inadequacy.
2 Quit Using a “To-Do” List
Top performers don’t merely work from a to-do list; they operate from a “must-do” list. They prioritize and put energy into just a few, crucial tasks each day that directly support their major goals. For years, I have started my mornings by identifying three critical actions I must take, and one that helps improve myself. It’s not about getting through a long list—it’s about focusing on what really matters and brings progress.
3 Quit Taking “No” as Final
In my book, Start With Heart, I tell the story of asking a wealthy couple to contribute $10 million to name a new library. The initial answer was no, and it was hard not to be disheartened. But I realized that my ask was too focused on what our institution needed and not enough on what mattered to them. After rethinking our approach, I returned with a new angle, and today, the library bears their name. A “no” is often not the end—it’s an opportunity to reevaluate and try again with greater empathy.
4 Quit Asking for Too Little
I once asked a philanthropist what mistakes fundraisers made most often. Without hesitation, he said, “They ask for too little.” Wealthy donors want to make a significant impact. They aren’t interested in piecemeal solutions—they want to know how they can genuinely change a person’s life. When you ask, aim high enough to address all the needs—tuition, resources, even childcare—that will help individuals succeed. Aim to create real change.
5 Quit Telling the Wrong Stories
High-wealth donors are motivated by outcomes, not inputs. They don’t need to hear that you served thousands of people; they need the story of the one person whose life was transformed because of your program. Find these stories. Use them. Whether it’s a 90-second video or a heartfelt narrative, telling impactful, personal stories will resonate much more deeply than broad statistics.
6 Quit Thinking It’s About Your Institution
When you present a proposal, think about how it starts. Is the focus on your organization—its history, its goals? To engage your donors effectively, it needs to be about them from the start. Put the spotlight on the donor—their dreams, their values, their legacy. Show them that their philanthropy is a direct extension of their values and desires. This isn’t about making your organization great; it’s about making their story part of something transformative.
